Category: Wholeness - trish hermanson

A Shark Bit My Head Off

4/9/2021

   I was blissfully swimming in what I thought were safe waters when a shark bit my head off.
     I had volunteered to help at a community event when a fellow volunteer accused me of harassment and wanted to cancel me. Ouch!
     What to do? Cancel him by fighting back, or pack up and move on?
     Both tempting.
     The bigger question was what to do about the anger and bitterness that threatened to grab me by the throat. That would be more damaging than the shark’s attack.
     I took the unorthodox advice of a rabbi, something that appears absolutely ridiculous: love my enemy and pray for him. Not easy, but that’s what Jesus said.
     As I prayed for the guy, questions seeped into my mind. What fueled his anger? Was it unrealistic expectations? Dashed hopes? Also, I wrote to those in charge of the event. Their conclusion? No basis for his complaints.
     Next time I saw him I offered a handshake, which he didn’t accept.
     So far, no more shark attacks. I hope to keep up the practice of praying for those who oppose me or I’m upset with, especially during these contentious political and pandemic days when it’s become normal to cancel others.
  Because feeding on each other is never healthy.
   ***
  Photo: Louise Crandall.

Does Gender Matter?

4/9/2021

That’s me when I was growing up - pure tomboy. I fell outside the stereotypes of what defined a “young lady.” As an adult, I still don’t fancy frills and lace. Yet I’m woman through and through. And my husband? He doesn’t follow sports as many men do, but believe me, he’s hombre through and through. We don’t fit American stereotypes of what defines male and female.
     One of our daughters who has lived internationally observes that expectations of gender differ among societies. In some places, men freely kiss other men. Women hold hands as they walk together. I wonder whether we’d have less identify confusion in America if we broadened our cultural expectations of the sexes.
     So is gender fluid? No, it’s not culturally defined, but biologically assigned before birth.
     This is a hot topic that requires more than a few paragraphs to discuss. But in general, it’s rare that a person’s gender is not biologically clear at birth. When that occurs, it’s a time for compassion and decisions. For most of us, anatomy clearly communicates whether we are male or female. That’s something to celebrate because we are most fulfilled when we embrace our God-given identity. But how we express that may differ from person to person, as in the case of me, once a tomboy down to my toes.
     To read one man’s journey from trans to nonbinary to masculinity, click here .

How to Celebrate International Beaver Day

4/6/2021

Perhaps in celebration of International Beaver Day on April 7, a beaver made quick work of this tree along the trail near our home. I have no plans to celebrate the day other than to ask myself if anything is gnawing at me that could bring me down. Are there any grudges I’m carrying that need to be forgiven? Or burdens I’m bearing that aren’t mine to solve? Or gossip I’m sharing that should be squelched? Does the forest of my mind need cleaning up?
Anything gnawing at you?

Taking Broken Wings and Learning to Fly

4/1/2021

My friend Nancy can’t run her fingers over the keys of her baby grand piano anymore. Her three guitars lie dusty. Although she used to sing in groups, Nancy’s voice is a whisper now, so faint that I lean forward toward the sofa as her lips move. “It’s rough,” she says.
     Nancy has dropped thirty pounds from whatever cruelty attacked her, leaving her feet shuffling, her hands trembling, her voice faint, and her doctors puzzled.
     A few years ago when she hit a decadal birthday, Nancy jumped off a California cliff and parasailed over the ocean. Back then she relished co-piloting her husband’s plane as they cut through clouds.
     Flying has a new definition for Nancy these days. With a trembling hand, she strums my ukulele while I finger the chords. We quietly sing songs we once raised our voices to. We joke that with a little more practice, we could put out a hat on the mall and collect change. I say that I can’t bring my tap shoes next time I visit because I don’t own them anymore. No problem, Nancy says. She’ll provide cowboy boots, and we can do the electric slide. Another chuckle.
     I’m in cancer recovery and Nancy has an unnamed disease, so we don’t soar as high as we used to. But today we heed the challenge on Nancy’s phone case to “take those broken wings and learn to fly.” With the wind of God’s Spirit beneath us, we take our broken wings and rise above our circumstances.
It's what we must all do, and it's good enough.

Tragedy at My Grocery Store

3/23/2021

The mass killing at King Soopers this week brought back a flood of memories because that’s where I shopped when Duane and I were first married. The store was close enough to our townhouse that I could walk there and carry my bags home. It’s right by the laundromat where I washed clothes each week, and it’s just across the street from the library where I checked out books.
     That neighborhood in the Rocky Mountains foothills continued to draw us even after our three girls were born and we relocated a few miles away. We found a pediatric dentist just up the hill from King Soopers, so after checkups we’d stop off to buy milk and eggs. A smiling checker dug pennies out of her pocket and handed one to each girl to ride the mechanical horse - the cheapest entertainment in town.
     One day while the girls and I were inside the store, a rainstorm moved across the Rockies, pelting the roof with torrents. No problem. We sheltered inside until it slowed to a drizzle, then we dashed through puddles to the car.
     What memories a store evokes when it anchors a neighborhood. What a tragedy today, because the death of ten souls is more than a statistic. It’s a wound. This is our store - all of us. We all have a King Soopers. So today I weep like the rain that pummeled the roof when we sheltered there from the storms of life.
     ***
  Photo: screenshot, CBS Channel 4/Denver. Please share. previous thoughts are at TrishHermanson.com.