Category: Wholeness - trish hermanson

When Dreams Collide with Reality

8/7/2021

Have you noticed that dreams don’t always come true?
     For example, I’ve yearned to see Stonehenge, that ancient circle of rock pillars in England, but the opportunity never arose. So Duane and I recently trekked to an American version - Carhenge.
     It’s a humorous imitation outside Alliance, Nebraska in the size, shape, and proportions of Stonehenge. Through “blood, sweat, and beers,” creator Jim Reinders says he and his family arranged thirty-nine vintage automobiles in a circle, some buried trunk-end down to create columns, others welded above to form arches. While Stonehenge represents a civilization four thousand years ago, Carhenge represents our American civilization with our love of mobility.
     But Carhenge symbolizes much more to me. It reminds me that we don’t always get what we want. I longed to see ancient stone pillars, I got crazy car columns. Among my other desires, I’ve dreamed of a pristine home pictured in “House Beautiful.” Mine is lovely, yet gathers dust bunnies I could trip over. I’ve yearned for perfect friends, but I get people as quirky as me. I’ve fantasized romantic love, but I get someone who needs forgiveness as much as I do. The contrast between my idealized notions and stark reality is like the contrast between Stonehenge and Carhenge. One is an unrealized dream. The other is reality. And if I don’t embrace what comes my way, I miss out, because the real deal may be as good as, sometimes even better, than the fantasy.
  It may be even as wacky as Carhenge.

What Do Bono, Beyoncé, and I Have in Common?

5/24/2021

What do Bono, Beyoncé, and I have in common?
     We are all one-name wonders. My moniker is “Grams,” which I’m especially proud of since my granddaughter Magdalene asked me to join her in a recital after I began teaching her autoharp. I gotta tell you, we rocked.
     In the recital’s printed program, I’m listed simply as “Grams.” This pleases me because grandparenting is a great calling, whether children are biological or informally “adopted” through friends or neighborhood. But our role can be tricky. We don’t want to mess with established family culture. We can’t depend on affirmation. And while being on standby for parents, we must still maintain our own lives.
     So we take opportunities as we spot them. We give what we can, and sometimes more than we can. Our contributions may fit our personality. Duane does metal and woodworking projects with kids. I play silly word games with them. Sometimes what we give is as simple as a wink, a smile, and a ride to an activity. Whatever we do, we affirm these kids’ God-given value, calling them forth to find their place in the world.
     So let’s rise up for this great calling. We grandparents are archers fitting arrows into bows, aiming precious souls into a century we will never see and places we will never go.
  We really are one-name wonders.

Welcoming Fred Home

5/11/2021

Duane and I just returned from the South helping our daughter Ashley, her husband Steve, and their children move. Pictured with me are Oak, Eve Juniper, and Ashley, along with a lamp named Fred that we delivered from our Colorado home.
Why Fred? When Ashley was ten, she was heartsick after Duane felled a conifer in our yard that was being crowded out by other trees. So she and Duane created Fred from a branch of the tree, and the lamp illuminated her bedroom for years. Ashley has transplanted herself many times since growing up, bringing light as she visited or lived in fifteen countries on five continents.
Now that she's more settled, we’re glad we could bring the funky Fred back to provide light for her kids. Perhaps he’s an example of the children’s song that even when we’re cut down in life, we can sing, “This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine.”

A Shark Bit My Head Off

4/9/2021

   I was blissfully swimming in what I thought were safe waters when a shark bit my head off.
     I had volunteered to help at a community event when a fellow volunteer accused me of harassment and wanted to cancel me. Ouch!
     What to do? Cancel him by fighting back, or pack up and move on?
     Both tempting.
     The bigger question was what to do about the anger and bitterness that threatened to grab me by the throat. That would be more damaging than the shark’s attack.
     I took the unorthodox advice of a rabbi, something that appears absolutely ridiculous: love my enemy and pray for him. Not easy, but that’s what Jesus said.
     As I prayed for the guy, questions seeped into my mind. What fueled his anger? Was it unrealistic expectations? Dashed hopes? Also, I wrote to those in charge of the event. Their conclusion? No basis for his complaints.
     Next time I saw him I offered a handshake, which he didn’t accept.
     So far, no more shark attacks. I hope to keep up the practice of praying for those who oppose me or I’m upset with, especially during these contentious political and pandemic days when it’s become normal to cancel others.
  Because feeding on each other is never healthy.
   ***
  Photo: Louise Crandall.

Does Gender Matter?

4/9/2021

That’s me when I was growing up - pure tomboy. I fell outside the stereotypes of what defined a “young lady.” As an adult, I still don’t fancy frills and lace. Yet I’m woman through and through. And my husband? He doesn’t follow sports as many men do, but believe me, he’s hombre through and through. We don’t fit American stereotypes of what defines male and female.
     One of our daughters who has lived internationally observes that expectations of gender differ among societies. In some places, men freely kiss other men. Women hold hands as they walk together. I wonder whether we’d have less identify confusion in America if we broadened our cultural expectations of the sexes.
     So is gender fluid? No, it’s not culturally defined, but biologically assigned before birth.
     This is a hot topic that requires more than a few paragraphs to discuss. But in general, it’s rare that a person’s gender is not biologically clear at birth. When that occurs, it’s a time for compassion and decisions. For most of us, anatomy clearly communicates whether we are male or female. That’s something to celebrate because we are most fulfilled when we embrace our God-given identity. But how we express that may differ from person to person, as in the case of me, once a tomboy down to my toes.
     To read one man’s journey from trans to nonbinary to masculinity, click here .