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You, Too, Can Kazoo!!

1/25/2019

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     Our country desperately needs some levity these days, so let me encourage you to rush out to a music store and pick up a kazoo to celebrate National Kazoo Day on January 28. Then if you can hum the semblance of a tune, you can jam on this nifty little American instrument that’s been around since the 1840s.      
     If you can’t buy one by the 28th, no worries, because the date for celebrating occurs anytime near the end of January - whenever it’s convenient for kazoodaphiles. “We have to be flexible,” explains Chaplain Willard Rahn, founder of the Joyful Noise Kazoo Band at Homewood Retirement Center in Williamsport, Maryland.     
     And if you’re a closet kazooist, now’s the time to fling open the doors and form a kazoophony. Embellish your music with this distinctive instrument as did Eric Clapton  (“San Francisco Bay Blues”), Pink Floyd (“Corporal Clegg”), and Dionne Warwick (“This Girl’s in Love with You”).     
​     For a hilarious history from hardcore kazoologists, visit here.
     Happy kazooing!

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Unhappy Anniversary to Us

1/21/2019

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     Unhappy anniversary to us. This year marks four centuries since the first African Americans arrived (unwillingly) on our shores. We acted no more neighborly toward Native Americans, corralling tribes so we could take their land. Then in World War II, we incarcerated Japanese Americans but didn’t intern German Americans. Why? Maybe because “they” didn’t look like “us” who are lily white?     
     The recent wave of immigrants challenges us again. In the past we welcomed needy Europeans, who became the grandparents and great-grandparents of the majority of us. Yet now we don’t embrace needy Latin Americans, sometimes calling them crooks and social sponges, even though statistics reveal that in general, immigrants have been more law-abiding than native-born citizens and have actually boosted our economy.
    
     Perhaps it’s time to heed the wisdom of Martin Luther King Jr.; Instead of building a wall to hold back a flood of humanity, we could “build dikes of courage to hold back the flood of fear.” Maybe then we’d understand more clearly how to make good immigration decisions.
    
     We’re embarrassed about how our ancestors treated various people throughout our country’s history, and I wonder whether our descendants will be shocked about how we treated Twenty-first Century Latin Americans. Will they have reason to call us racist because of what we did - or did not - do?
  
 ***
    
     Photo from the Mississippi Civil Rights Museum.

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What to Do in Case of a Situation

1/11/2019

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     This sign cracked me up because we used to react to emergencies, but now we create “Situational Action Plans.” Please, if I’m ever in an emergency, don’t call it a “situation.” Just get help!     
     Other signs I’ve observed recently have been more straightforward, like the South Dakota bill board that poked fun at just about everyone - “Eat Steak, Wear Fur, Keep Your Guns.” Another, advertising a western store, told me, “Use Your Head When Buying a Hat.”     
     A sign in a Denver plumbing parts outlet informed me: “You Will Spend Seven Years of Your Life in the Bathroom. You Will Need a Good Book…and a Good Look.”     
     A T-shirt in Colorado made me read carefully: “Legalize Marinara.” Another, perhaps related, said the wearer was “Overly Meditated.” A third came across with the authority of Scripture: “Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he’ll sit in a boat and drink beer all day. Fish 24:7”     
     Then there are the companies that select unforgettable names. A tax accounting firm: “Go Figure.” A shoe repair store: “The Sole Man.” And my favorite, a hair salon: “Curl Up and Dye.”     
     All this whimsy makes me wish we could trade in the divisive political talk around us for a bit of humor. Perhaps then we’d discover, as Louis Armstrong sang, what a wonderful world it is. Listen to Armstrong here.

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What's on Your 'To Be' List?

1/4/2019

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     Here’s a challenge for us New Year’s Resolutionists: I asked my friend Jean Snedegar what’s on her bucket list now that she’s retired as a BBC reporter and public radio producer. What was left to do since she’s already met both the royal and the commoner at work?
     Her brow furrowed as it always does when she’s deep in thought. “For thirty years I’ve viewed myself as a journalist and broadcaster,” she said. “So instead of asking what I want to DO, I asked myself who I want to BE.”        
    
​     Instead of creating a “to do” list, Jean developed a “to be” list that she ticked off to me on her fingers:  An encourager; a hostess; a reader/learner/grower; a carer of a sick brother; a French and German learner; a gardener; a de-clutterer/organizer; a friend via notes, calls, emails, and visits; a God praiser; and a pray-er for others.
    
     Her list surprised me because much of who she aspires to be, she already is. That’s because years before she penned her list, she set herself on a trajectory that has made her the person she yearns to be. 
    
​     Which makes me wonder what path I’ve stepped onto in life. Will it lead to who I want to be? Or do I need to make a right turn and veer onto a different path?

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