Anyone Else Befuddled by Today's English?

     Are you as befuddled as I am when you read the news? My head spins whenever I succumb to doom scrolling (endlessly reading online news ) during this corona coaster (roller-coaster pandemic). I’m not a Karen (an entitled, obnoxious, angry, or racist middle-aged white woman trying to get my way). If you don’t think I’m woke (aware of social and racial justice), are you going to cancel me (treat me as persona non grata)? I don’t understand QAnon (a far-right conspiracy that believes that Q, an anonymous leader, is gradually exposing a deep state plot against the President). Has anyone doxed this group (published internet research on this group)?     
     Is your political party dog whistling me (using attractive code words to gain my support)? Is the political contribution you want me to make a grift (a small-scale swindle)? Are you gaslighting me (causing me to question my sanity and sense of reality)? Have I become a covidiot (one who doesn’t properly wash hands, social distance, and wear a mask)? It’s all too confusing! Perhaps for the rest of this Coronageddon (covid catastrophe) I’ll hide out in my basement and pour myself a quarantini (a martini during quarantine).