trish hermanson - Home

What to Do in Case of a Situation

1/11/2019

This sign cracked me up because we used to react to emergencies, but now we create “Situational Action Plans.” Please, if I’m ever in an emergency, don’t call it a “situation.” Just get help!
     Other signs I’ve observed recently have been more straightforward, like the South Dakota bill board that poked fun at just about everyone - “Eat Steak, Wear Fur, Keep Your Guns.” Another, advertising a western store, told me, “Use Your Head When Buying a Hat.”
     A sign in a Denver plumbing parts outlet informed me: “You Will Spend Seven Years of Your Life in the Bathroom. You Will Need a Good Book…and a Good Look.”
     A T-shirt in Colorado made me read carefully: “Legalize Marinara.” Another, perhaps related, said the wearer was “Overly Meditated.” A third came across with the authority of Scripture: “Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he’ll sit in a boat and drink beer all day. Fish 24:7”
     Then there are the companies that select unforgettable names. A tax accounting firm: “Go Figure.” A shoe repair store: “The Sole Man.” And my favorite, a hair salon: “Curl Up and Dye.”
     All this whimsy makes me wish we could trade in the divisive political talk around us for a bit of humor. Perhaps then we’d discover, as Louis Armstrong sang, what a wonderful world it is. Listen to Armstrong here.

What's on Your 'To Be' List?

1/4/2019

Here’s a challenge for us New Year’s Resolutionists: I asked my friend Jean Snedegar what’s on her bucket list now that she’s retired as a BBC reporter and public radio producer. What was left to do since she’s already met both the royal and the commoner at work?
Her brow furrowed as it always does when she’s deep in thought. “For thirty years I’ve viewed myself as a journalist and broadcaster,” she said. “So instead of asking what I want to DO, I asked myself who I want to BE.”
  Instead of creating a “to do” list, Jean developed a “to be” list that she ticked off to me on her fingers: An encourager; a hostess; a reader/learner/grower; a carer of a sick brother; a French and German learner; a gardener; a de-clutterer/organizer; a friend via notes, calls, emails, and visits; a God praiser; and a pray-er for others.
     Her list surprised me because much of who she aspires to be, she already is. That’s because years before she penned her list, she set herself on a trajectory that has made her the person she yearns to be.
  Which makes me wonder what path I’ve stepped onto in life. Will it lead to who I want to be? Or do I need to make a right turn and veer onto a different path?

Need a Bail Out or a Crockpot?

12/28/2018

Did you ever want to bail out of something that seemed impossible? I have. Artist Pierre-Auguste Renoir must have felt that way, too, when he attempted what no other French Impressionist had accomplished: a massive painting combining still life with landscape and portraiture. Over a two-year period, he changed the landscape, changed the clothing, changed food on the table, and repositioned his fourteen models, even painting out a woman who exasperated him.
     “One must from time to time attempt things that are beyond one’s capacity,” Renoir wrote while working on it. He persevered, and his “Luncheon of the Boating Party” remains one of the best loved paintings in the world. It’s one of my favorites, too, because it reminds me of how hard some things can be. Sometimes it’s projects that are tough. Or relationships. Or a job that’s killing us. There are times we should bail out. But other situations are like Renoir’s painting, requiring perseverance.
  So for this new year, I’m asking myself what to let go of and what to keep persevering in until, in its own way, its a masterpiece.

The Scandal of Christmas

12/17/2018

The real Christmas story is even more scandalous than finding an “Eat More Chikin’” cow in my Nativity scene (compliments of my family). In the true story, Mary, a teenager, tells her fiancé she’s pregnant by the Holy Spirit. You expect him to believe that? No way. So being a good Jewish boy, Joseph plans to privately dump her. But in a dream that’s enough to rattle anyone, an angel tells him to marry her. Not an easy start for a couple.
     Then Mary goes into labor while they’re traveling to a census count. No vacancies, so it’s anguish and afterbirth in a barn, and their newborn lying in a feeding trough. Not the dream of first-time parents.
     In a field nearby, celestial warriors rip open the sky and practically scare the tunics off a bunch of shepherds. They hotfoot it over to worship this child who the angels proclaim will be a savior. Then foreign scholars follow a weird star and announce to the local overlord that a baby is destined to become king. Fearing for his position, the overlord goes postal and kills all infants under the age of two - bloody infanticide. But Joseph and Mary escape, so desperate to protect their child they seek refuge in a foreign country.
     No sweet, syrupy story here. Instead, it’s the Supernatural’s gritty entrance onto planet Earth. God sneaks in as a baby to identify with our frailness, then as an adult, he rolls up his sleeves to deal with our brokenness. But that’s another true story - Easter.
     To hear a realistic song about Jesus’ birth, click here.

Is It Naughty or Nice to "Out" Santa?

12/14/2018

Outing” Santa Claus is dangerous. That’s what my granddaughter learned when she told a classmate that Santa is just pretend. The child’s parents complained to the teacher, the teacher reported it to my daughter, and my daughter was left trying to explain to our granddaughter why parents teach their kids that Santa is real.
     So what’s the problem with believing that this jolly old man sees you when you’re sleeping, knows when you’re awake, and knows when you’ve been bad or good? It’s creepy, especially when used to manipulate behavior (“so be good for goodness sake”). Then, once the hoax is revealed, kids may experience a giant let down and wonder “what else have my parents lied about?”
     Some say Santa introduces kids to the concept of God. Not really. Santa is omniscient, but not in a benevolent way. He makes a list and checks it twice to see who’s naughty and nice. Then he turns off the generosity when we don’t measure up. That’s not like the true God. As author Philip Yancey says, “Grace means there is nothing I can do to make God love me more, and nothing I can do to make God love me less.” Which is great because at times we all get on the naughty list. That’s why we celebrate Christmas, because Jesus came to take us off that list.
     So what to do if you’ve bought into the Santa story? When my kids were young, I found it helpful to talk about the historical St. Nicholas, who gave gifts because he loved Jesus. Then if you enter into the Santa Claus myth, make it clear he’s just pretend, as Moana, Mary Poppins, and Han Solo are.
That’ll keep you off Santa’s naughty list for lying.
***
     Historical information about St. Nick is here. Clipart is from Clipart Panda with text added.

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