trish hermanson

Fighting the Fear of First Impressions

6/22/2018

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Sometimes these days I’m a jumble of jitters because I’m meeting lots of new people and first impressions leave lasting impressions, right? I don’t want to blow it.
     So here’s a new person. I suck in a deep breath, tentatively offer my hand, and ask the woman her name. Now will I remember it?
     A week later I see her again and don’t. “I’m still Trish.” I say awkwardly, “and you’re still….?”
     She reintroduces herself. We make small talk. But nothing meaningful happens.
     I remind myself of a motto I’ve drilled into my core: “In this situation, I have nothing to hide, nothing to seek, nothing to prove.” When I remember that, I forget the posturing and pretenses.
     We make more small talk, but still nothing happens. Then I think about the wisdom of John Maxwell: “People never care how much you know until they know how much you care.” So I ask her a question.
     Now something marvelous occurs - we find a connection.    And as Rick Blaine speculated at the end of the movie “Casablanca,” I wonder whether this might be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
  I hope so.

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My Obituary?

6/15/2018

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When I worked as a reporter, the tough but important task of writing obituaries sometimes fell upon me. Tough because it was unpleasant to think about death, yet important because I was compiling a summary of a person’s life.
     We journalists sometimes joked about writing our own obits: “After grabbing a coffee, Trish Hermanson was crossing Main Street when a beer truck hit her, wasting the beer, the coffee, and her.” Bizarre humor, I know, but meant to lighten the responsibility of the work.
     I recently had the toughest writing assignment ever, composing the obituary for my six-year-old granddaughter who died suddenly from an unknown cause. But Lydia’s well-lived life made it easier. She had created a legacy for all of us to sit up and take notice.
     That got me thinking about what I’d be remembered for. Would it be because I was somebody’s daughter, somebody’s mother, somebody’s employee? What is my life work anyway? How do I want to be remembered?
     “Our words and deeds are how we are remembered,” says author Jeff Goins. “What we say and what we do matters. We may not control our circumstances, but we can control how we respond to the world around us.”
  Thinking of it that way, I realize I’m writing my obituary every day.

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Not a Piece of Cake

6/8/2018

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   Jack Phillips’s life hasn’t been a piece of cake. Since he turned down a job to design a wedding cake for a homosexual couple, he’s been threatened to be shot in the head or ripped apart with a machete. That doesn’t fit with the Jack I know, a quiet baker in my neighborhood. When we needed a cake for a special birthday, I visited him at his obscure shop where Jack listened attentively to my wishes. Then he meticulously fashioned a moist carrot cake with rich cream cheese frosting that melted in our mouths. A masterpiece.
   That’s Jack’s aim - to please customers. When developing a couple’s nuptial cake, he “discusses their preferences, their personalities, and the details of their wedding to ensure that each cake reflects the couple who ordered it,” the U.S. Supreme Court noted in its decision this week regarding Jack.
     When a homosexual couple asked Jack for a wedding cake, he says he didn’t turn them down, but turned down the event. He offered to produce something for another occasion or sell them anything else in the store. Why? Because Jack is among those who - not wanting to trample on anyone’s civil rights - believe that marriage is inherently an opposite-sex union. Jack’s not alone. Millions of conservative Christians, Jews, and Muslims embrace this belief.
     Should their religious rights be squashed in the name of civil rights? The U.S. Supreme Court said “no.” The state must respect the beliefs of people of faith.
     This meshes with our forefathers’ vision of liberty and justice for all, where artists like Jack have the freedom to practice their skills and their religion as they see fit.
     There’s plenty of room for both civil rights and religious freedoms under our big, pluralistic American tent.
     ***
     Image from Masterpiece Cakeshop website with text added.

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How Long Is Your Trail?

6/1/2018

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After I wrote about signs that made me chuckle, some readers responded with their favorites: Stan said that a huge truck stop sign in Missouri announces “Clean Restrooms. Kids Eat Free.”
     Rachel said that when she lived in China, a sign in English in a grocery aisle announced “Inflated Food.” The section was filled with puffy bags of chips and other snacks.
Mary told me about a Florida church sign designed to keep people from parking in a certain area: “Thou shalt not park.”
     Ruth wrote about a Colorado mountain pass sign: “Watch for Avalanches.” Are we supposed to stand there and wait for one?
     I noticed a restaurant named “Re-combobulate” in a Washington port town for those who had just stepped onshore and were trying to get their land legs back.
     One sign in my neighborhood always offended me: “Slow Children.” How dare they say that about my kids.
     A fence company sign: “Love Your Neighbor, But Don’t Take Down the Fence.”
     And a discouraging marker along a path my daughter and granddaughters encountered: “Too Long Trail.”
     I hope your trails are never too long, and that you find plenty of humor along the way. For more laughs, check out my children’s book that discloses the key to developing a positive self image. “Hooty McTooty Discovers True Beauty” takes kids and adults on a wild ride with a chicken who thinks a makeover will change her life. “Hooty” is geared for preschool through third grade and is available here. It’s free for Kindle Unlimited members.

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Is there a Secret to True Beauty?

5/24/2018

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I saw firsthand recently how early the focus on “looks” begins. When I arrived at a salon to get my hair cut, I spotted a young boy in a chair, his hair being styled so the number “1” would stand out on the back of his head. The grin on his face told me how important this was. Later, the stylist told me that young boys are even more conscious of their hair than girls.
     Body image among kids is a big deal. Take the issue of weight. I’ve read that 81 percent of ten-year-olds in America are afraid of being fat. By teenage years more than half of all girls are on a diet or think they should be.
     This made me frightened and angry enough that a few years ago I wrote a children’s book for my grandkids about our airbrushed society. I didn’t want them to fall prey to this pressure.
     In the book, a little brown hen named Emma thinks she’s homely. She undergoes a ridiculous makeover where she’s nipped, tucked, snipped, and liposucked. She’s crowned Miss Poultry and becomes cover bird of the Barnyard Gazette with a centerfold spread. But is she happier?
     No. As we all must discover, outward appearance doesn’t equal inward happiness. The stakes are high: either we develop a healthy self esteem, or we keep bobbing around the choppy waters of others’ opinions.
     I’ve just re-released “Hooty McTooty Discovers True Beauty” in paperback, ebook, and hardback. Through its Seuss-like rhyme and sophisticated humor, kids and adults share good laughs while entering the topsy-turvy world of self image. You can join Hooty’s campaign for a positive self image by exploring the book here.

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Fighting the Fear of First Impressions

My Obituary?

Not a Piece of Cake

How Long Is Your Trail?

Is there a Secret to True Beauty?

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